Last posting of 2007

Lord my savior, hollowed be thy name,
thy kingdom come, thy will be done on earth as it is in heaven
thank you so much for providing so much for all of us
and constantly forgiving us our sin despite of our short coming.
Give us faith and strength to forgive our debtors and love each other even in very difficult time.
Let us not rely on our physical ability, but help us to trust you with all our heart.
Please, lead us from the temptation and deliver us from the evil one.
For thine is kingdom, power and glory, amen.

I look back this year of 2007, it is one of the most meaningful years of my life. Graduation and wedding, so many of new and fresh starts. However, as much eventful as it was, this year was the least productive year for me in some aspects.

돌아보면 2007년은 내게 의미있는 한해였다. 졸업에 결혼에 모든게 새로운 한해였다. 하지만 한편으로는 올해 처럼 실속없이 보낸 해도 있었다 싶다.

For this reason, 2008 means a lot to me. My new years resolutions are...

그래서 2008년은 내게 더욱더 의미가 깊은 한해 이겠다. 몇가지 내 자신에게 바라는게 있다면...

1) restore relationship with God - for I turned my back from him so many times

1) 조금더 하나님께 다가가기 - 그동안 너무나 멀어져 버린 나이기에

2) be better to shrie - I always complaint that it is unfair, but after all... she is one of the best ever happen to me in my life! I once thought even if I lose everything, she is enough for me for she is the best gift ever given to me from our Lord... what happened to me?

2) 아가씨에게 좀더 잘하기 - 불공평하다고 불평을 늘어놓은 나이지만, 무었보다도 하나님께서 내게 주신 큰 은혜가 아닌가? 다 잃어도 충분하다고 여겼던 마음은 어딜 간거지?

3) no more procrastinating - no excuses... just do it!

3) 미루지 않기 - 더 이상 할말이 없다. 속전속결, 오늘 할일을 내일로 미루지 않기.

4) reset the bio-clock! - perhaps the most challenging part of my daily life... be sharp!

4) 규칙적인 생활 습관 - 아마도 가장 어려운것 중 하나가 아닐까 쉽다. 칼같이 시간 지키기.

Akiyama Yoshihiro 추성훈 2007 yarennoka

I just watched 2007 Yarennoka fight between Yoshihiro Akiyama senshu vs. Kazuo Mizaki senshu. I thought Akiyama senshu did pretty good job against pride GP champion Mizaki senshu. Both in same weight class with judo background, I couldn't tell who would win, though I hope Akiyama senshu wins this fight. It seems main reason for his lost was that Akiyama senshu let loose his guard and concentration a little after the punch-pounding moment (this is why zanshin is very important).

Some media source posted that he was pinched by Mizaki senshu's accurate strike, but I didn't see any of that. It was either one's game, though the result was a bit controversial for yarennoka rule, but still win is win - Mizaki senshu did a good punch-kick finish combo. No contest against it, he won the fight clearly.

조금전 추성훈 선수의 야렌노카 경기를 봤다. 프라이드 GP챔피언인 미자키 가즈오 선수를 맞아 마지막에 긴장을 좀 늦춘게 패인의 요인이 아닐까 생각해봤다. 모처에선 그로기까지 몰렸다가 결국 KO를 당했다는데 전혀 몰리는 모습은 보질 못했다. 국내 팬들의 말처럼 어쩐지 조금은 석연치않은 경기이긴 했지만 추성훈 선수의 발전되가는 모습은 누구도 아니라 할수없겠다.

Ever since I heard about him few years ago, I felt bad for Akiyama and I hoped that he would triumph in either judo or mma. Although it appears that his judo career is waning down, it is amazing how he improved himself in mma and on the way to becoming one of the best in the class. Though he lost tonight's fight, he will become one of the best in his class in few years.

추성훈 선수를 눈여겨 봐왔고 좋아하는 까닭에 이번 경기는 깨끗히 KO로 승리 한후 일본, 한국, 그리고 그외 모든 스포츠 팬들에게 고의였던 아니었던간에 사과와 함께 멋지게 컴백을 하길 바랬었지만, 결국엔 미자키 가즈오 선수의 지온군 같은 멘트를 들어야했다.

I really hoped that Akiyama senshu wins tonight's fight. I hoped that he would defeat Mizaki senshu with clean KO and instead of celebrating his win, I hoped that he would apologize to mma and judo fans of Japan, Korea, and all the others. Whether he really cheated the previous fight agains Saku san is not important. Only he would know the truth. But, it is clear that he lost the trust of his fans and sports fans and just for that he should take different path and cleanse himself out of it. I'm just hoping that he would grow more mature as a mma, judoka, and sportsman for he can easily be a good role-model for many, specially many judo kids.

잘싸웠다고 생각한다. 아쉬운건 어쩔 수없겠지만 미자키 카즈오 선수의 말처럼 앞으로 국내외의 격투기팬들과 유도팬들, 특히 아이들에게 좋은 모습을 보여주었으면 하는 바램이다. 추성훈 선수 화이팅!

ps. I give lots of prop for Jung Bukyung senshu for awesome fight for a rookie and stepping up to take JZC's place against one of the best in the class - Shinya Aoki who also demonstrated excellent spirited game and humble gesture.

PS. 정부경 선수의 선전에 박수를 보내고 승리에도 겸손한모습을 보인 아오키 신야 선수도 훌륭하다고 생각한다.

pss. Judo is indeed awesome! But, for me... Kendo is the best!

PS2. 유도는 역시 멋지다 (추성훈, 아오키 신야, 정부경 선수들 모두가 유도 선수들... 미자키 선수는 아직 유도 기술을 못봐서 탈락). 하지만 나는... 오 오 옷, 검도 최고!

Opportunista homo-phish-parasitus

Some of the disease causing bacteria may be called opportunistic for it does not do much normally, but when the host's defense/immune system decreases then they may cause unwanted effect to the body.

박테리아 중에는 보통때에는 우리 몸에 해를 입히지 않지만 우리의 면역 또는 상처등으로 이상이 생겼을경우 문제를 일으키는 종들이 있다.

Well... there are people who present similar trait and characteristic of the opportunistic bacteria. worse these people may cause problems regardless of others' defense system. I got this phishing mail today.

꼭 반드시 미생물이나 기생충만 그런게 아니다. 사람들 중에는 비슷한 성격을 지닌 종들이 있는데... 더 나쁜점은 보통때에도 크게 다를 바가 없다는것. 오늘 온 메일 주에 이런게 있었다.




The sender's name is Tatiana Mcgraw. Tatiana is the name of Tiger attacked people at SF Zoo. Tatiana grrrrr!? What a opportunist! So I renamed and regroup this phishing homosapien to opportunista homo-phish-parasitus.

보낸이의 이름은 타티아나 맥그롸. 타티아나는 샌프란시스코 동물원에서 우리를 탈출, 사람을 해친 범의 이름이다. 게다가 이 사람의 성은 맥그롸. 영어로 "그르르" 같은 소리는 맹수가 내는 소리. 이런 녀석이 있나! 그로, 이런 정신을 가진 썩어 빠진 이들을 다음과 같이 구분한다: opportunista homo-phish-parasitus라고...

TOFU told me to shake up and be Tough

The news said it will only get colder from today. I keep thinking this is nothing cf. to St. Louis, yet I just couldn't think of washing cars in colder whether. Black cars takes forever to wash and clean. No need to think twice, 速戰速決 is the roughneck style.

I just pulled the infiniti to the drive way and sprayed the water, next I saw tofu pulling to the curve side. "Hey..." it is always good to see tofu. For almost 5 months, haven't seen him... I was being anti-social for awhile. Had few chats and asking how each others doing, tofu took off to take care of errands and I... of course... went back to car wash. We just told each other to call for dinner together.

Today's dinner was tofu's pick suggestion and my pick - Ramen Haru. I thought it was much more authentic than Kahu's. I tried Haru Ramen... and good stuff. We stopped by quickly to grab some teas (I couldn't get the hot passion fruit milk tea, which I tried to order... cuz I missed shrie orz). I also ordered crispy chicken (which wasn't very crispy...orz...that's strike 2 for me). As usual, tofu commented: "you're crazy, man... and you just ate." 이런걸 가지고 놀라다니... 후후... 얼마전까진이 2배도 먹었었다고! (쳇, 자랑할게 아니쟎냐!)

we swing by tofu’s tofu & danae's new place. Man, I can't wait until you two get together and live in the same house! I'm very happy for you and hope to hear the bell soon! (in Korean, I'd tell you tofu, I can't wait till eating noodle for the good day!).

Thanks to tofu, I had wonderful time and shook up some crumbles away. Alright tofu, keep pray for me; I'll be the tough man not a tofu(豆腐)man!

Gospel permeates every aspect of your life

2007 is full of news in my life. In May, I finished the school, and I married dream-girl (haha) in June. In July, a new family member was introduced to our home, and August we went to Tahiti for our honeymoon trip... and now in December, for the first time as a married couple, shrie and I celebrate Christmas together... only over thousands miles between us (and through skype).

The new member of my family is the one that I want to begin today's posting. In July, shrie and I adopted a 6 weeks old female Siberian husky. She was a tiny and shy puppy who was smaller than my flip-flops and was afraid of everything. She was light brown/tan colour, so we named her cocoa. She now became a naughty 32LB husky who loves to run, dig, and play fetch. We love her so much, but once a while (in truth... most of time) she is hyper and out of control... We tried so hard to discipline her; we scold her, use dog treats, or even imitate dog-whispererTM. But taming her is just one tough mother job.

The main point of the story is not that cocoa is one naughty dog, but that no matter what WE LOVE HER. We love her regardless of her behavior and we continually love her and provide her needs no matter what. How well she listens to us or she does something for us is far out of context. We simply just love her as a family member and someone who is in our care! Isn't that the same for how God loves us regardless of what we do for Him. If I can love and provide for cocoa how much more God would do for me and us!

I've been going to church for awhile, but sometimes I forget the very essence of Christian life or even what the gospel is all about. Well, it was good thing that I visited pastor Ray's archive [R. Chang. The True Gospel: 2007 October 7th sermon. Available at www.sermonplayer.com/pastorray]. Followings are some memo from P. Ray's message.

Let's begin with what is gospel... Gospel literally means Good News in Greek. The essence of Gospel is who Jesus is, which is what we proclaim and where our faith lies onto. But the good news isn't really good news to some. Because, without it (accepting the message) there is no salvation. Plus, how we accept the message is as important as whether we accept it or reject it.

Many of us think of salvation as a very individualized salvation. It is more like after-life insurance; where we think we pay our dues then it is guaranteed. If that's true 1) it is more like the work 2) what's that to do with faith at all 3) where the mercy & grace hold their place?

Mercy and grace is an important trait of the gospel. We call our salvation (and all the things that God does for us) is merciful and gracious, because we simply and truthfully don't deserve it! We follow the commandments because we already received the mercy and grace; not the other way!

If we do the work and live purpose, at the same time, expect to receive the salvation at the end... something is entirely obscured. We believe not to be more religious and follow the path of self-justification, but to focus more on the relationship with God and relationship with others.

Repent! Repent not just our sin, but for the obscured reasons for our so-called good deeds (more coming later). Idolatry is not just worshiping other gods, figures, or whatever we think it is... but also placing ourselves, our ego before God. We are not and should not be the center of the universe. The truth is we, all of us are inadequate (and that's why it is mercy & grace).

Then how do we distinguish the true altruistic vs self-centered moralists' action? Pharisees taught to judge by external behavior without reflecting on internal motive. Selflessness? What is sin? It is any action or thought of something against God. Not just behavior, but also the motive. And regardless of its degree, it takes one sin to break the relationship with God. After all, worship of selfness may be the worst idolatry and the most often practiced one.

Talking about good and evil, our God's scale is not about relativism. Saying "I'm a pretty good person cf. to most criminals or average citizens" would not do much. It has to be the absolute scale.

Remember, we sin because it is our very nature; not just we chose to do so. We're born with separation from God already. Sin permeates. One sin, almost always, leads to another one. The wage of sin is death. We are born in the state of rejecting God already, too!

God does not dwells in mutual relationship. God loves us unconditionally & equally regardless of our offering. Amnesty between God & us? He substitute himself for us! Gospel = center piece = essence = Jesus Christ = our foundation. People have problems with christians who does not follow Jesus.

Jews rejection of Jesus as the Messiah [read Isaiah 55]. Key idea is not just he died, but sufferred & humiliated for us. You can denied the historical truth. We call it gospel, the good news. News means to report what already happened; not merely what happened to Jesus, but what happened to him as who he was and how he died.

Remember the Gospel - God chooses to accept the least = truly inadequate. Apostle Paul wrote in 1 Corinthians 15:8, and least of all, as to the 'child' untimely born, he appeared to me also.

'More you accumulate, more empty you become'. But by giving and through sharing, you'll be filled. We live in grace filled life, not by performance based life. Your gratitude reflects the generosity of the giver! How truly have you transformed because of the Gospel of Christ? Which permeates every aspect of your life!

go back to whence you came

후회하고 있다면 깨끗히 잊어버려
가위로 오려낸 것 처럼 다 지난 일이야

후회하지 않는다면 소중하게 간직해
언젠가 웃으며 말할 수 있을 때 까지

너를 둘러싼 그 모든 이유가
견딜 수 없이 너무 힘들다 해도
너라면 할 수 있을 거야 할 수가 있어
그게 바로 너야
굴하지 않는 보석같은 마음 있으니

어려워 마 두려워 마 아무 것도 아니야
천천히 눈을 감고 다시 생각해 보는 거야
세상이 너를 무릎 꿇게 하여도
당당히 니 꿈을 펼쳐 보여줘

너라면 할 수 있을거야 할 수가 있어
그게 바로 너야
굴하지 않는 보석같은 마음 있으니

강산애 - 넌 할수 있어

대.한.민.국.의 새 대통령과 신문

별로 관심도 갖진 않았지만 한국엔 새 대통령 투표가 있었고 이명박후보가 당선이 된 모양이다. 계속해서 노무현 정부는 물러가고 이 당선자의 새 정부가 들어서며 이렇게 저렇게 바뀔거라는 얘기 투성이다. 새 정부가 들어설 차비를 하는 이때 한국 뉴스, 특히 신문에는 이번에도 역시 말같지않은 뉴스에 쓸데없는 손가락질과 은근한 아부도 눈에 띄인다.

펜이 칼보다 무섭다 (강하다?) 라는 이야기는 어렸을적부터 수없이 듣고 읽었다. 무릇 신문이나 TV등의 방송매개체 media의 주된 임무란, 사실을 알리고 국민에게 필요한 정보를 알려 계몽과 improvement of life에 앞장서는 한편, 경제와 정치를 constantly 견제해서 잘못된 길로 들어서거나 system abuse를 못하도록 해야 되는 것이 옳다고 알고 있다.

펜이 칼보다 무서운 이유는, 나의, 내 가족의, 내 조직은 물론 나랏님들의 어두운 잘못/dark side까지 만인들에게 알려질수 있다는것 아닐까 생각해본다. 나랏님들이 국민들 특히 여론 무서운줄알고 제대로 일을 하게 만드는데에는 특히 신문의 역할이 무엇보다도 중요하지 않은가! 하지만 지금 한국의 신문들을 들여다보고 있으면 한숨밖에는 나오질 않는다.

나라가 잘되는것 보다는 연야인들의 사생활이 더 궁금하고, 여배우의 몸무게가 중요하며, 가수들의 새음반이 더 많은 페이지를 장식하고 있는듯 하다. 연애인들의 사생활이 국민들에게 활력소를 주는 밝은 내용이 아니고, 여배우의 몸무게가 경제성장을 비추며, 가수들의 새음반이 다우존스의 포인트를 좌우지하지 않는 바에야 그런 쓰잘데 없는 가쉽들로 지면을 채우고 국민의 감수성을 바닥치게 할바에야 아까운 종이 그런데 낭비하지 말고 나랏님들과 기업들이나 체크를 좀 해주었으면 한다.

한때 우리의 부모님들의 세대엔 기자라는 직업이 은근히 존경받던 때도 있었나보다... 청렴결백한 선비같이 권력에 무릎꿇지않고 재력에 휘둘려 지지않던 그런 존재였었나 보다.

이제 대한민국의 새해에는 새로운 대통령이 나라를 이끌어 나갈 모냥이다. 그 사람이 당선 전에 어떠한 사람이었는지 이젠 그다지 중요하지 않다. 앞으로 어떻게 대.민. 사람과 한국인이 분열되어 살고있는 사회를 하나로 밝은 곳으로 이끌어 갈지만이 주목될 뿐이다.

Zeitgeist

[TIME + SPIRIT: Ger]

The spirit of the time; the taste and outlook characteristic of a period or generation: "It's easy to see how a student . . . in the 1940's could imbibe such notions. The Zeitgeist encouraged Philosopher-Kings" (James Atlas).

The general moral, intellectual, and cultural climate of an era; Zeitgeist is German for “time-spirit.” For example, the Zeitgeist of England in the Victorian Period included a belief in industrial progress, and the Zeitgeist of the 1980s in the United States was a belief in the power of money and the many ways in which to spend it.

Pastiche

A dramatic, literary, or musical piece openly imitating the previous works of other artists, often with satirical intent.

[American Heritage Dictionary]

Ewing's Sarcoma

Sarcoma [flesh + tumor] is a CA arising from mesenchymal tissues such as muscle or bone; sarcoma such as multiple myeloma, may affect bones, bladder, kidney, lung, liver, parotids, and spleen.

Ewing's sarcoma/tumor is a diffuse endothelioma forming a fusiform swelling on a long bone.

Day Four: Made to Last Forever

God has . . . planted eternity in the human heart.
Ecclesiates 3:11 (NLT)

Surely God would not have created such a being as man to exist only for a day!
No, no, man was made for immortality.
Abraham Lincoln

There is more to life than just here and now.

"This world is fading away, along with everything it craves. But if you do the will of God, you will live forever."
1 John 2:17 (NLT)

Since I was made last forever, what is the one thing I should stop doing and the one thing I should start doing today?

Tent vs House. Live each day as if it were the last day of your life.
Again, it's the relationship: His love, forgiveness, and salvation. If you choose to live without God on earth, how would you live with Him in heaven?. This life is just preparation for eternity; however, use your time & money wisely. Harvest on relationships & character, rather than fame, wealth, achievement, even fun. Reorder your priorities. To make most out of your life, you must keep the vision of eternity continually in your mind & the value of it in your heart. God has purpose of your life, but it doesn't end here. Think about eternity and be prepared.
Phil 3:7 - what Christ has done for us. No confidence in flesh. I consider them as rubbish, that I may gain Christ. Stop being too conscious about the consequences of your action, but rather be good and ethical. 2 Corinthians 5:6 - every moment we spend in these earthly bodies is the time spent away from our eternal home in heaven with Jesus.

from the book

Michael Breen. The Koreans: who they are, what they want, where their future lies. St. Martin's Press, NY, NY. 1998.

p. 3-4
The local media can be extremely misleading as a source of information. They generally do not see their role as a check on government and business, with the result that government intensions are frequently reported as facts a huge proportion of news stories, when you follow them up, turns out to be speculation, trial balloons, rumour, and deliberate distortion.

"you need a high-level bullshit indicator to figure out what's going on."

p. 29
Rushing parallel to this stupidity was a gushing torrent of bonhommie characteristic of Koreans in which accuracy is a distant second to feeling."

labelling without significant purpose, be cool people, be cool. don't be hot-heads, there are plenty of rednecks out there, you don't have to be another.

p.32
Most Koreans would crawl a million miles over broken glass for their mothers, but not for their fathers.

Most Korean mothers would do far... far more than that for their Kids... Steelers' WR Hines Ward surely agree with this.

p. 33
They approach the world with a personal confidence, but with clenched fists.

The ghost that haunts us will continuously do so if we don't break the chain.

Labelling without proper purpose

I picked up a book and started reading this afternoon at a library. "The Koreans," its title just captured my eyes and I began to flip through few pages. I thought it would be just another book about Korea & her people, how they suffer how they wrestled through the economy growth from sixties to nineties, etc. Sure the book talks about this, but in very honest way; not some foreigner living in the country for a while blabbing about what he saw. Rather, Michael Breen, the author, tells me about Koreans that I thought I knew by heart with a major bitch-slap.

He talks about the Koreans in depth, not Korea as his book title says and unlike many books I read talks about the Korea in somewhat superficial way. I almost felt that he knows Koreans far better than me and his stories just reminds me things that I ignored or put away very deeply for a long time.

I like the book very much so far. At some pages I had good laughs, specially when he wrote something that only Koreans (or people lived in Korea and understand its culture pretty well) would take it... more like inside joke... and some other pages made me almost tearing when he describes poor Koreans I know and I live with (no pity here) and some heart moving stories. He also points at some problems that I sometimes encounter with other Koreans and non-Koreans secondary to cultural differences - some I'm proud of though. Many times when he makes points and advises for Koreans, I also thought "this guy is absolutely right, I need to change."

Mr. Breen also criticize Korean news media, which I have so much fudge with, very honestly. My favorite definitely is "you need a high-level bullshit indicator to figure out what's going on." Within this one single sentence he explains everything that goes wrong with the media in Korea. I also noticed that he rather makes honest take-on Japanese, which many non-East Asians would not risk to speak of....

Anyhow, I only read about 1/4th of the book, but so far I'm very surprised at how much I'm enjoying this book. I hope by the time I close this book I learned some valuable lesson from this blue eyed (ha ha I'm not even sure if his eyes are blue) koh-jang-yi British gentleman.